Honeymoon Adventure!
Long time coming, here is our honeymoon story!!!
Friday night after the rehearsal dinner, I got an email (followed by a phone call) from JetBlue telling us our flight to Punta Cana Monday morning was cancelled. FML. I finally got a real person on the phone to try to reschedule and see what we could do, and she turned out to be a crazy bitch whore and yelled at me for assuming my honeymoon was more important than someone else’s vacation. Which it obviously was, at least to me. She tried to say the earliest we could get out there was Thursday…no fucking way. I said something had to be done, switch me to another airline (which she refused) and then put me on hold for a good 20 minutes, decent hold music though, put it on speaker and drank with friends. When she finally got back on the phone, she had a proposition. They could fly us out at 11:15PM Monday evening, and arrive in Santo Domingo at 3:30AM Tuesday morning, then figure out on our own how to get to Punta Cana, which was like 100 miles away. No, they didn’t offer to provide us with transportation or anything, but at that point, I was done fighting and took what I got.
Fast forward to Monday night, our “town car” (My Dad in his Caddy hahahaha) drop us off at the airport, we had rented a car for our drive across the Dominican, and we figured everything would be fine. NOPE. We assumed by the fact that we were the only non-Spanish speakers on the plane, that Santo Domingo wasn’t exactly a tourist area, and was probably not so safe…but you gotta do what you gotta do.
So we flew in, got our car, and headed on the adventure. Mind you, there are NO street signs, route signs, highways signs, signs to indicate which direction you’re traveling in, in the DR. We learned that the hard way. Occasionally there would be a little sign on the side of the road saying something like “Rt . 6” real helpful…So we went the wrong way, got lost, and ended up on the “wrong” route 4? This is all in the wee hours of the morning mind you. How is there a wrong route 4? And it WAS wrong…so very very wrong…We ended up on dirt road (seriously DR? Dirt road highways?) surrounded by corn stalks and locals on motorcycles with no lights. I seriously thought some crazy Dominican Ed Gein was going to throw tack lines under our tires, and proceed to torture and eat us. I was not being paranoid, if you saw where we were, this was a LEGIT fear to have. We eventually turned around, and found our way back to the more normal highway, just in time to hit cities at rush hour. Did you know that children hitchhike their way to school in the morning? That’s safe. I think hookers make the rounds at breakfast time also. Fun place.
Around 7:30AM we made it to where we had to return our car, and finally made it to our hotel around 9:30ish. When we explained to people what we did (locals who worked at the Elegance) no one believed us. Apparently they don’t even drive and they live there. Apparently driving from Santo Domingo to Punta Cana at 3:30AM is highly dangerous, and we’re pretty lucky to be alive…
The rest of the honeymoon was much less awkwardly eventful and dangerous. We spent 8 amazing days in the sun and the sand, drinking and eating, and even made a couple friends, Jen & Mike and Corky & Tawana. We did get some more nasty JetBlue attitude at JFK during our layover. I thought that was supposed to be the nice airline? If it weren’t for the comfy seats and TVs, I’d probably never fly JetBlue again…thanks for almost killing us on our honeymoon!!!
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